The Corum Crew …. is always learning and changing! Not only do I want to teach my kids about Jesus, nutrition, and being active, but, also about making wise choices about MONEY! This is one area that I personally needed to seek out experts for guidance. First, in God’s word He talks about money over 2300 times, more than Heaven and Hell, and more than love. Money is obviously a big deal to God. You may have heard others say money is the root of all evil. That is incorrect. The actual verse in 1 Timothy 6:10 is “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” (NIV) There’s a difference between responsibility of money and the love of money. The “love is money” >> Love in this concept comes from the Greek word “Phileo”, which means it’s the type of love that comes from your soul, a “fondness” for someone or something. When we put money over a relationship that becomes the root of evil. So diving into God’s word is the first place I would suggest we turn too.
I have found that Dave Ramsey www.daveramsey.com is a great resource for giving good advice and direction regarding money matters.
Last week, Tim and I, attended a parent connection seminar about teaching our children about MONEY. Scott and Bethany Palmer have written several books about finances. They are known as the Money Couple. www.themoneycouple.com
You can check out the Scott and Bethany Palmer BOOKS Here. You can also search your local library for copies of their books as well. (that’s FREE)
Here are a few tips that we learned from this seminar! As parents, Tim and I, have made many of these mistakes. We are not perfect and it is never too late to start sharing conversations with your children about the biblical principles of MONEY.
7 Money mistakes that Parents often make or have made already.
Parents don’t accept their children’s GOD given money mind.
Why is it that we raise our children in the same home and they all learn different styles on how to spend money? Our children are born with a “money mind”. Either we accept their feelings about spending and learn how to help them with money decisions or we butt heads with them. By not allowing them to express their own ideas and thoughts will lead to poor decisions that could affect their spending future.
Parents don’t have money conversations with their kids.
Have intentional conversations with your children about money! Some of my favorite times to discuss money are spur of the moment like while we are out shopping or driving in the car.
Here are some great questions we can ask our kiddos.
*Ages 5-12 What is the value of $$$? What do you think money? When you take the mystery out of money, there are no surprises.
*Ages 13-17 Why is money important? Why is having a good job important? Are your perspectives inline with your Passions?
*Age 18+ What plans do you have for your future? What is your plan for financial independence? How will you provide for your family? For our daughters: If you desire to be a stay at home mom, what does that look like for you without an additional income?
Parents don’t set money expectations with their children.
“No Stuff Stops” This is a good one! How many times do we go into a store and your children say, “I want this?” “Mom, can I have this?” “Mom, this shirt is on sale?” “Mom, look how cute these shoes are, I need these.” By setting expectations with the appropriate ages, these questions will minimize and eventually will be removed if you set an expectation with your kids that when you are out shopping that you will be making “No Stuff Stops”, which means you are only picking up exactly what is on your list and nothing else. It’s important that you stick to this guideline as well to set the example for your children. There will be times that you will be shopping and the “No Stuff Stop” rule will not apply, allowing your children the opportunity to spontaneously pick up an item they want, with limitations of course.
3 C’s of Expectations- these in our family are a MUST! Set the guidelines with these items way in advance so your children will understand your expectations before there is an issue.
*Cell Phone – our children will pay for part of the data plan, if they choose to have a smart phone.
*Cars – we will match our children’s savings with a set limit.
*College – this expectation is still in negotiation in our home! Our children know that college is expensive and there are no FREE rides.
Parents fight about money in front of the their children.
70% of all divorces are over MONEY. That is way too high, so let’s fight for our marriages and end this trend and figure this area out.
Find a CODE WORD for you and your spouse. “I totally get you, let’s table this for now!!” (suggested CODE WORDs) Then you and your spouse can remove yourself from in front of your kids and discuss the topic without them being involved and feeling uncomfortable.
Parents project their money successes and failures on their children.
Your children shouldn’t know all about your money, good or bad. It is okay to share appropriate information during times of struggle, when money is “tight” so your children know that as family you may not be able to afford certain things. You never want to give your children an opportunity to worry about your financial issues. However, our failures with money can lead to our kids witnessing our greatest strengths, depending on how we are able to handle the situation.
Parents think they can’t Veto their kids money decision.
By setting expectations and speaking your kids money language it will help them make smarter decisions. And sometimes, we have to allow our children to fail and help them learn from their mistakes.
Parents don’t teach their children about credit and investment.
Credit Cards– there are some benefits to having them. But this is one area that can get you into some serious financial crisis if they are not managed with guidance.
*Age 5-10 A fun exercise to explain the concept to small children is by using candy. Lay out 10 candy bars on the table. Tell your child they can buy the 10 bars on “credit”. Immediately take back 2 of the bars. When your child wants to know why you did this, explain that Mr. Visa charges fees and interest with his credit card. When you don’t have the cash up front to pay for something you want it will cost you more in the long run. It’s better to save up the money you need for the things you want.
*Age 12-17 Set examples for your older kids. Their minds are more prepared to understand this concept. They see how you handle credit so make sure you are making the right decisions when pulling out the card in front of them. Also, when you feel it’s appropriate for your child, open a credit card up for them and make them solely responsible for it. It’s better for you to help them manage the card while they are at home with you. If your child has not learned the concept of credit under your roof then they may make poor decisions in the future when you are not there to give guidance.
Learn your child’s MONEY Personalities and Speak their Language with them.
Here are the 5 that Scott and Bethany shared with us.
- Saver – These kids don’t want to let go of anything or spend their money. They may even question you on spending money.
- Spender – These kids love to spend their money on themselves and love giving gifts to others.
- Risk Taker – These kids are very adventurous in their life and they just do things differently. They will also take risks when spending their money.
- Security Seeker – These kids want a plan of action, they will worry about a test, worry if they will have enough money, worry about things in general.
- Flyer – These kids fly by the seat of their pants. They go with the flow and are encouraged with more friends around. They tend to spend without thinking about the purchase in advance.
(Note: We list these Money Personalities regarding kids, but as adults we have the same Money Personalities)
There is not a right way or wrong way with any of these language, they are just different. God gave each of us a primary and a secondary money language.
Corum CREW — MONEY Personalities
Tim – Spender and Security Seeker
Shanna- Security Seeker and Spender
Isabella- Spender and Security Seeker
Isaiah – Risk Taker and Flyer
Illianna- Spender and Flyer
I pray that a few of these TIPS will help you as a parent in guiding your finances and making a huge impact with your children. I know I am always learning. God is constantly working on my heart and I am trying my best to improve as a WIFE and a MOM. Parenting can be very hard at times but also it can be the most rewarding gift in our lives. “For where your treasure is, your heart will also be.” Matthew 6:21. Life skills all start from the heart. Anything we do in life begins with the HEART. Seek God with our whole heart to help us transform our lives to reflect more of HIM.